Hugs

I have been totally blog negligent as of late.  I think girls camp and youth conference are partly to blame, though much of the fault is mine.  I still haven't even put pictures of Lorin up on the post I wrote about her.  I promise I will get to that shortly along with catching up on my busy summer.

So lately I've been thinking a lot about hugs and how important they are.  I'm reading Temple Grandin's book "Emergence  Labeled Autistic"  It's basically an autobiography and a book about Autism all rolled into one.  I've been reading about this squeeze machine she invented for autistic people who have tactile sensory issues.  Temple has severe tactile issues.  As a tiny baby she screamed whenever she was held or touched.  The overwhelming sensation of being hugged was actually painful to her.  Her entire life was spent desperately wanting a hug but not being able to tolerate the sensory overload.  Anyway, to make a long story short after watching cattle in a squeeze chute she ends up making them for people.  It pretty much simulates a hug except the person inside has complete control.  Temple said that she did not have a sense of empathy because she was never ever held or comforted.  She said as an adult, for the first time in her life, inside the chute she felt empathy.  As a result of the squeeze machine she has been able to form bonds with people and express the love that she had for them.

So this morning when Ethan gave me a big hug I pretty much cried.  He didn't need to be asked or instructed, he just gave me a hug!  I feel like Ethan's hugs are a special gift.  Ethan not only gives hugs but LOVES hugs!!  He loves to be held and he loves to cuddle.   I may have to let him know when to give hugs and I may have to sometimes tell him to squeeze tight, but I'll take what I can get.   My hug this morning was only the third time I've been on the receiving end of such a spontaneous hug.  Yes I do keep count.

Also, Ethan has a great since of empathy!  Today at church he learned about the good Samaritan.  As we were walking out to the car a little baby was walking and  fell and started to cry.  Gary and I saw that her mom was attending to her and that she wasn't injured so we kept walking.  Ethan started to cry.  He said he felt bad because the little girl fell and we didn't stop to help her!!

Maybe Temple is right.  Maybe empathy and hugs are related.  Ethan was after all one of those babies who had to be held constantly and never grew out of it.  If he had his way I would still be carrying him around!  At the time it was a little bit of a hindrance, but now I see what a huge gift it was, and still is and I'm so grateful.  When he was young I would pray constantly that I would give Ethan what he needed because everything seemed such a struggle and I was so desperate to help him. He just seemed so angry, frustrated, and withdrawn.  Ethan and I would spend hours cuddling on the couch.  I guess the Lord helped me give Ethan what he needed without me even realizing it.  Sometimes it takes years to see the fruits of our labors, or in my case the fruits of our cuddling.