Gratitude

 Even though November is traditionally a month filled with Thankful hearts and gratitude, for me this year it has basically been one long pity party!  This has been a LONG 2 and a half years, I'm not gonna lie, but for most of it I've tried really hard to be positive, faithful, and patient (I've tried, not necessarily succeeded).  It seems this last month I've just become exhausted and have given in to all those feeling.  Those "I just want to get on with my life already and not have to deal with school any more" feelings and "how are we ever going to dig ourselves out from under all this debt"  and "this had better be worth it" feelings.  Along with the "autism just plain sucks" and "I'm going to have to deal with autism forever" feelings, and the "this would be a million times easier if I had family around" feelings, not to mention the general irritation that has been plaguing me (actually, it has been plaguing my family more than anyone else, I'm quite fine with my irritation).   I'm not sure what caused the change in attitude.  Maybe it's like we've been running a marathon and we're almost there and I'm at that point where I just want to stop.   In an attempt to climb out of this pit I've been in all month I'm going to try to make a list of my blessings.  It is in no particular order, just what pops into my head.It wont be complete by any means.  I know I have blessings I don't even know about or don't even think about (like the fact that I even exist).  I'll do the best I can, so here it goes!

Gary - pretty much the greatest guy I know.  He LOVES me and completely supports everything I do.  He has unending patience with me.  He loves me for who I am.  he knows I'm a free spirit and I do pretty much whatever I feel like and he's cool with it!  He is extremely intelligent, but doesn't realize it, which I find adorable.  He is very very very funny.  He's fun to be around.  He loves our kids.  He knows how they think and comes up with the best games!  He is kind.  He works very hard and he plays very hard. He's handsome.  He's tall.  I never dated a tall guy until I dated Gary, and let me tell you, having someone who can reach all those tall places is extremely convenient! He's faithful and sensitive! He always knows what to say.   He's just great!

Lorin - She's the 10 year old girl version of Captain awesome.  Pretty much succeeds at everything she tries.  Some of it is talent she's born with it and some of it is determination, will power, and confidence.  I admire her.  She is strong physically, mentally, and spiritually.  She is incredibly kind.  She takes the mantle of oldest child seriously.  She knows she has more responsibilities than other kids her age and she thrives!  She's beautiful.  She's funny.  She's already quicker, and smarter than I am.  She is kind and accepting of others.  She loves her family.  She a fantastic artist.  She has the perfect nose.  She is so kind and patient with her siblings.  She is tender hearted and nurturing.  She's turning into a young woman and I get glimpses of the woman she will be someday.  I can't wait to see what she does with her life!

Brynn - Princess.  She reminds me how fun it is to be a princess and that all girls are princesses. She reminds me how awesome it is to be a woman.  She who loves all things girl.  Brynn who never walks, only dances.  Brynn who spends most of the day in song.  Brynn who doesn't understand why anyone would wear pants when a dress or a skirt is an option.  She only loves unicorns, rainbows, and puppies, not ninja turtles!  She has pink hair and pink skin.  She still looks like a cartoon.  She's squishy like a marshmallow.  She aspires to be a traveling princess.  She's magical.  As much of a princess she is she doesn't put up with any one's garbage.  She's a tough princess!  She's strong and willful.  She's a fighter and can hold her own.  She starts and wins most of the fights in our house.  She is never intimidated.

Ethan -  He's honest.  I don't think he has the ability to lie.  Never have I seen a child at such a young age make such a conscience, deliberate effort to change.  I didn't know children were capable of that.  In his 7 years of existence I think he has made more changes and overcome more obstacles than most people do in their entire life.  He impresses me.  He's miraculous.  He's different, not just because he's autistic, but he's strong and determined.  He's affectionate,  which I don't take for granted.  He loves to sit on my lap.  He's very tall and has very long legs so when he climbs up on my lap and snuggles with me he reminds me of one of those large dogs that thinks he's a lap dog and tries to sit on your lap.  He smiles a lot, with his whole face!  He's authentic.  He's kind.  He LOVES babies.  He loves his sisters.  He's formed close bonds with his family, which is sometimes hard for people with autism.

Fantastic special ed teachers and a school district that is willing to listen- I don't know that I really need to give much of an explanation.  Only that they have completely transformed Ethan's life!

Sewing - That in this time of scarcity I've had the ability to dress myself and my family well at very little cost.  That I have a good stash of fabric and tools.  That I decided to take that class a million years ago so that I could have enough units to transfer and ended up loving it!

Creativity  - I'm so glad I'm creative.  I love creating things.  It is a need and helps me cope with life.  I need to be creative everyday or I might go crazy.

Sunshine - 'nuff said!

Warm weather

beaches

mountains

Really awesome parents - I always felt loved.  I always felt important.  I always felt supported.  They were and are such good examples to me of what a person should be.  I could write volumes how they've blessed my life.  So kind, so patient, so funny.  So honest.  So faithful.  Amazing work ethic I wish I had.  I have many friends who weren't born with such awesome parents. Wow, I am blessed.  I had a wonderful childhood!

Really awesome siblings - They too are an example to me of how a person should be.  I love all of them.  I get along with ALL of them.  They are all very unique.  They are incredible human beings.  Resourceful, funny, intelligent, faithful, talented, courageous, compassionate people.  I'm honored that they are my siblings.  I'm blessed that I was born into a family with really cool people.

Really awesome in-laws.  That's right, my family is a triple threat!  Few have it.  I do!!  My family is all round awesome. I could literally write volumes about my in-laws, A, because they are amazing, and B, because there are a lot of them!  For lack of space I will just say that I love them.

Air conditioning

Clorox Wipes- yes it made the list. If you had kids you would understand.

Art - I just LOVE art.  It stirs feelings in side of me.  It makes me feel alive.  I can't really put into words how art can make me feel.

The gospel - everything good in my life comes from it.  Everything.  That is no exaggeration.  With out it I would have none of these other things.  None of them.  The fact that not only do I have it now, but that I've always had it and have never had to search for it.  I've always known the peace that comes with having it in my life.  That I have access to such power and such beauty is incomprehensible.

Jesus Christ - I don't think I need to explain this one either.  Savior of the world!  How can I even express my gratitude for that!

Electricity

Food - I love food - eating it and cooking it.  It's pretty fantastic!

Garage sales

Tampons - ladies, you know what I'm talking about!

Technology - All technology, including medical.  I'm soooo glad I'm not a pioneer.  I wouldn't want to live in any other time.  If I had a time machine I would probably just go back to last night so I could get a little more sleep!  

The future - I know I complain about now a lot, but our future is really awesome!

Education - I am sooooo thankful that I got an education.  That Gary is still getting an education (degree #3).  That I got to do something that most people in the world never do.  That it can never be taken from me.  It's the only thing you can buy in this life and actually take with you when you die!  

Automatic dishwashers - I really hate doing dishes.

Heaters

Microwaves

Really great friends - especially when you don't have family near by. They become really awesome stand ins!

Gardens

Camping/hiking

really great bargains

chocolate

Prayer and modern day revelation- I'd be a lost sheep without it.

My cats - they are very soft and in the winter get very cuddly.

Waste management - I love throwing stuff away!

Humor

Shoes

Health - I'm really really grateful for my health.  I have a very healthy body!!! I think healthier now than when I was in my twenties or even a teenager!

Exercise - I love those endorphins released after a great workout!!!

Music - I don't think above would be possible with out it!!

Getting dirty and working hard

Temples - Heaven on earth, literally!

These are all I can think of for now, though my blessings are pretty much endless!
Wow, I feel better already.  I better go, princess Brynn is getting restless!