Doctor's Appointment

I was so worried about Ethan's Doctor's appointment today that I woke up at 3 am. This isn't entirely uncommon for me except that I must have been especially anxious because rather than waking dog tired I was full of adrenaline. I jumped out of bed and scoured my kitchen until it shined (I never do that, at least not at 3 am). I just didn't want to be dismissed or told that Ethan is just a boy or he is just being willful, or that I was doing something wrong (I know I'm a great mother and that I haven't done anything wrong. I'm not afraid to say it either). I've known that Ethan's struggles have been different than those of other kids ever since he was a baby. I just found a doctor out of the phone book and we set up an appointment for today.
Well Dr. Stanley was sent from heaven. He is the best pediatrician I have ever taken my kids too. I've never had a bad pediatrician, in fact all the pediatricians my kids have seen have been great. But Dr. Stanley is just special. He sat down and talked with Ethan for a while. Then he talked to me for a while. He was so kind and had excellent bedside manner. He had a way of getting the information through friendly conversation rather than interrogation. I told him all about Ethan's difficulties. About how he is lacking certain social skills, doesn't make eye contact, doesn't follow a list of directions, etc. How people keep asking me what's wrong with him. How academically he is fine but in so many ways he is really struggling. I just wanted a name for what ever was wrong so that I could take care of it. Wise Dr. Stanley explained to me that it is much more important to help him than label him. The doctor explained that when he was a kid any child who was lacking, whether it was behaviorally, developmentally, educationally, mentally, etc. they were all put under the label of mentally retarded. Now, doctors are hesitant to put a label on kids, especially if it is like Ethan where there is definitely something wrong but it is so hard to put a finger on, either because it is so mild or it is a combination of things. The doctor first set out to make sure there were no physical ailments, like prior surgery or sickness that may be attributing factors. He also asked about our home life (I'm sure it was to see whether that was a factor.) After he ruled that out he was positive that yes Ethan definitely had some developmental issues. The doctor said that Ethan was a great kid. He said that what ever Ethan's issues are he needs to see a specialist so that he can get a good, accurate diagnosis and get all the help he needs. He said he definitely saw signs of ADD. Which didn't surprise me at all. I know some reading this blog may feel uncomfortable with this but the doctor suggested giving Ethan a low dosage of Ritalin to help with his ADD. Before the visit I prayed and prayed that I would be inspired and that the doctor would be inspired. Gary gave me a blessing this morning so I would be open to the spirit during the office visit. Before the visit I always told myself that I would never put any of my children on medication, not that I think there is anything wrong with it, nor do I judge people who do. I realize that there are kids who need it. It's just that I have always been worried about the effects of medication. But when the doctor suggested it the spirit was very strong. I immediately agreed. I know some may disagree with this decision, but frankly, my only concern is helping Ethan. I know what I felt and what the spirit whispered to me and I don't have the energy to worry about what other people think.
So we have made a plan of action. We will start him on the Ritalin. After three weeks we will cal the doctor back and get in touch with the specialist so that the other things Ethan struggles with can be addressed. There is a lot more than the ADD going on, that is why we are seeing the specialist. At school the kindergarten teacher and the teacher of his special class, as well as speech therapist, and any other specialists at the school will be involved. Its not the kind of thing where Ethan is just getting a medication and sent on his way. There is a network of health and educational professionals who are going to work with him. I know I complain a lot about having to live in Abilene, but, If the only reason we live here is so that Ethan can get all of this help, it is worth it. I can't believe how everything has worked out in that regard. He got the greatest teacher and the greatest doctor. I feel very hopeful for his future happiness. The doctor also kept telling me that Ethan had a saint for a mother and that I was dong a great job. He said that nothing Gary or I was doing was causing it (that I already knew. As I've said before I rarely feel guilt).
Now if only I can get medicaid. We are still working on that. We will be getting it soon, it's just a slow process. I would honestly sell a body part if it meant Ethan could get the help he needs. I know Heavenly Father loves our Ethan and that he has great things in store for him. That is why he has been putting all of these people in his life to help him.

On a side note, the weather here has been totally fantastic. The high today will be 78 and it is sunny. My favorite kind of day. It's the kind of day where you don't want to go inside.
Also, my mom just started a blog! Actually I don't think she had much of a choice. her blog is thetimesofthesigns.blogspot.com.
Also, I hope all of our friends in the Houston area are doing OK. I know a lot of people have lost power again.