On Monday Ethan started his special ed class. It basically focuses on Speech and Behavior. The lessons are tailored specifically for the needs of each child. There is a regular kindergarten curriculum but everything is based off of speech and behavior. For some kids in the class academics is also a problem but for Ethan it doesn't seem to be. He does have poor fine motor skills and works on that daily. Right now there are only four other kids in the class, all of them little boys. The first day was hard, but any time Ethan has to change his routine it is hard. The second day he tried to bite his teacher. I felt horrible but the teachers didn't seem the least bit phased. These teachers have been working with kids like Ethan for over ten years. They just told me that he could never do anything that they haven't seen before. The next two days were great. Today however was picture day and Ethan basically had a breakdown. He had to stand in line in a stuffy crowded auditorium. After a while he started screaming and covering his ears. One of his teachers had to carry him back to his classroom and hold him. Then they had him rock himself in a rocking chair and hold soft objects to help him calm down. It took him twenty minutes. I felt so bad for poor little Ethan. It is moments like these that emphasize to me that Ethan really does have a problem. I just feel helpless because I don't know what's wrong and I am growing impatient because as a mother I just want to make everything better and I can't. I have to be patient and get him properly diagnosed. At the moment we are doing everything for him that we can. I am so thankful though for his wonderful teachers. They are so patient and loving and kind and understand so much better what is wrong and what he needs.
The Friday before he started his new class I had a teachers conference. I thought it was going to be me, his kindergarten teacher and his new teacher. Well it was myself, the two teachers, plus the school counselor, the principal, the speech therapist, and some other educational professional. They each took turns talking about Ethan's problems. It was not easy having 7 strangers tell you all the thing s that are wrong with your child. And of course I started to cry. I cried in front of seven strangers. It was hard to hear but nothing they said was new to me. I had experienced each of those things with Ethan myself. I know though that they had to do it so they could coordinate their efforts and give him all the help he needs. They do what they do because they love and care about kids and it shows.
Ethan's primary teacher can't handle him. As soon as class starts she sends him out to me or Gary. Last Sunday I was teaching sunbeams when the primary president brought him. I told her I could not take him. I told her I wanted him to be in his primary class and that I had way too much to handle teaching the sunbeams. The primary president took him into another room and taught him herself. I know Ethan is difficult. I know he has a hard time, but I was extremely irritated at her lack of even trying. As I've prayed about it though I've felt that I shouldn't judge her because maybe she has trials in her own life that make it difficult to have to deal with a kid like Ethan who needs extra help. It seems this wards primary is very focused on the kids sitting still and being quiet during primary, and while I think that is great it just seems that there are just as many interruptions from teachers and leaders telling the kids to be quiet and sit still as there are kids interrupting and making noises. I know they just don't know what to do with Ethan because he has a hard time sitting still. I had a long talk with the primary president. She is a wonderful lady who is doing a great job. I told her that Ethan is not going to sit down. He is in a room full of kids who are singing and making all sorts of noise. It is overwhelming and difficult for him. I told her that he is going to wiggle and squirm and stand up because he is stressed out and uncomfortable. I told her that he is not a bad kid and that he has trials at this young age that the other kids just don't. He tries really hard and he is doing the best he can and that is all I can ask of him. Gary decided he is going to sit with Ethan until they find someone to shadow him. If he gets called to something he is going to tell them he can do it as soon as they find someone to shadow Ethan. I want Ethan to have every opportunity to learn and grow at church. I know that the Lord is watching over Ethan and taking care of him. All of these wonderful people have come into his life in the short time that we've been here. I know the same will happen at church too.
3 comments:
I really wish I lived closer to you! Yes, the Lord is watching over our sweet Ethan, and something will work out. I am so thankful that he has such great teachers at school. We pray for him every day. Love you all!
Bless your heart Natalee. I have been in that same parent teacher conference with al those teachers and counselors and experts. Even though they are all on your side, you feel a bit defensive. And even though you already know, it is so hard to hear. I cried too.
I am proud of you for telling the primary president no. Ethan needs to be in his class with the others, and you need to teach your class. They just have to be a little more tolerant of him. It is good for the other kids to learn to be tolerant of others. We have several kids like Ethan in our primary. But they come to primary, and it is good to see how the other children try to help them to feel more comfortable. Hang in there.
I need to add an initial to my name so people don't think you are praising yourself. I have nothing but praise for you. You are the best mom, and absolutely the perfect mom for your kids. It just breaks my heart to hear how hard it must be to watch sweet little Ethan struggle. He is in the perfect family for learning and growing, and everything else will fall into place too. Not everyone is as patient and evolved as you are though, so it may take time.
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